


You Hide Your Looks Behind These Scars

by WinchesterInTheTardis



Category: The Walking Dead & Related Fandoms
Genre: Age Difference, Aged-Up Character(s), Almost everyone lives verse, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Carl loses his eye in a car accident, College, Fluff, Glenn and Maggie adopted Enid, Lori is dead, M/M, Multi, One-Eyed Carl Grimes, Other, PTSD, Panic Attacks, Religious Imagery & Symbolism, Some angst, Trauma, aged up judith, bisou and bandit, cannabis consumption, carl is 18, character(s) with mental illness, good shane walsh, ptsd carl
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-09-15
Updated: 2017-10-08
Packaged: 2018-12-30 05:27:29
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 6,007
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12101736
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WinchesterInTheTardis/pseuds/WinchesterInTheTardis
Summary: Carl and Rick lose Lori in a car crash. Carl loses an eye. Now he has trauma and awful panic attacks. Negan can piece him back together.https://imgur.com/Vyw7LDQ - Banner





	1. Your Face Is Momentary

**Author's Note:**

  * For [welcometothefall_out](https://archiveofourown.org/users/welcometothefall_out/gifts), [TheMutantHonk](https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheMutantHonk/gifts).



> This is my first Cegan fic!
> 
> I don't have a beta reader. :c If Anyone wants to do it send me an ask on tumblr! flowercrownspock.tumblr.com

Carl slid down against the shelf, gasping for air. The room was spinning, it felt like his heart was about to pound straight out of his chest. Oh god, he was dying, wasn’t he? He dropped he video game he was holding and it clattered to the floor in time to slightly cover the sound of him gasping for breath. He was dying. This was it, he was having a heart attack. He gasped again, air filling his lungs wholly but it didn’t register to him. In Carl’s head, he was suffocating.  
  
_Wait_ he thought, his fingertips pressed against his chest to feel his heart beating wildly against them. _Wait._ It’s just a panic attack. But fuck, why was he having this bad of a panic attack in Walmart, of all places? Before it started he remembered the feeling of people staring at him, staring at his eye or lack thereof. Could hear the industrial lights buzzing above and the unnatural light veiling everything in the store.

Oh.

But that didn’t stop it. He felt shakey, his heart was still rattling around inside of his ribcage like a jumping bean, it seemed.

“Hey. You okay?” He was still too spaced out to hear the voice, but he did notice the shadow of someone kneeling next him. He smelled cedar woodchips, smoke. A hand slid onto his shoulder and he jumped, finally looking over to the – holy shit. Who was this guy? He was gorgeous, smelled nice, too. His smile was warm and his eyes – behind his glasses – were beautiful green. Of course, Carl was still in the throes of the panic attack, but this was one hell of a distraction and that’s what his therapist told him. Distraction helps a _lot_.

“Panic attack,” he managed to choke out, his cheeks flushing as he noticed the man looking at his eye. His voice sounded so damn dry, damn it.  
  
“Oh kid, I get that. All too well actually.” He let go of Carl’s shoulder and instead sat down beside of him on the floor. He didn’t look at Carl’s eye again after that, instead pulling him into random conversation. He found out the guy lived there in town, too. His name was Negan. He introduced himself, told Negan about having graduated high school. About how he lost his eye, briefly, because Negan asked about his family. So he explained how he’d lost his mom in a car accident, the same one that took his eye.

Soon Carl’s heart had slowed and his skin felt a lot less clammy. He hadn’t even noticed the panic attack after a few minutes. He was too focused on Negan, those eyes. Now he was wondering, were they green or brown? Hazel? He sighed out loud and was brought out of his thoughts by Negan handing over the video game he’d bought. Overwatch. His cheeks took on the pink color again, he could feel it, as he reached out. “Thanks,” he murmured, watching Negan stand and reach down, holding out his hand to Carl.

He took it, letting the older man pull him up to his feet. He found him thanking him for the second time, rubbing the back of his neck and shaking his hair down to cover his eye. He was still self conscious about it after all this time. “Don’t mention it.” Negan smiled at him and Carl almost dropped the game again, finding the way his tongue slipped through his teeth when he smiled to be…well, he felt his heart speed up again and he swallowed dryly.  
  
They stood there in silence for a moment before Negan chuckled a bit. “Well I’ve gotta go.” He gestured behind him toward the front of the store and Carl flushed, nodding.  
  
“Yeah, of course. Thanks again. Really.” He smiled at him and unbeknownst to him, Negan’s heart beat doubly. It almost tore him up to walk away from the waifish teen. As he turned and walked away, Carl’s heart began to speed up too. “ _Fuck,”_ he murmured to himself, starting off in a slow sprint, following the man down the aisle. Before he was about to turn the corner, Carl gathered his gumption up and swallowed his embarrassment. “Hey, Negan wait.”  
  
The older man felt relief wash over him. He wasn’t crazy, right? He turned around and Carl was there, behind him, still holding the video game but also reaching into his pocket and pulling out his phone. “I um…Can I get you coffee or something sometime? I…” He swallowed hard, opening a blank contact and holding it out to Negan as the older man reached for it.  
  
Negan stared at the phone for a second, then looked over it to the blue eyes in front of him, that slender nose and soft looking lips. He smiled again. “Sure darlin’.” He typed into the phone quickly, handing his own to carl with his other hand. When they exchanged phones again he turned to go once more. “See you soon.”  
  
Carl nodded and looked down at his phone, his face heating up at the new contact there.

 

**_Negan ; )_ **


	2. In Hybrid Moments

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I felt bad because the first chapter was so short so I wanted to add onto it. This chapter is short too, they all are. But I'm glad you guys like it so far!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't have a beta reader. :( If you would like to be my beta reader send me an ask on my tumblr! flowercrownspock.tumblr.com

“You’re kidding me. No way did some hot knight in shining armor save you from a Walmart panic attack-“

“I’m _telling_ you E, he did. He put his name into my phone like this.” He handed his phone over and Enid stared at it, a look coming onto her face that said ‘shit, maybe he did’.

“Negan? What kind of name is that? Is that his last name?”  
  
“I think it’s his first name. Who would introduce themselves by their last name.”

Enid shrugged and flopped onto her back on Carl’s bed, watching snapchat stories on her phone. “So are you gonna text him?”  
  
Instantly Carl was red. “I guess. What would I even say? Wouldn’t that be weird?” But soon his phone was snatched out of his hands and he sat up. “Hey – what are you doing?”  
  
For a minute she was silent, typing on Carl’s phone before she handed it back to him. “Giving you a push,” she said simply, and Carl stared down at the text bubble on the screen.

 **Hey, how’s it going?**  
  
“Oh god,” Carl groaned, did that airplane mode trick really work? Oh well, too late now. He turned his phone on vibrate and tossed it off to the side while he and Enid talked. He left his phone upstairs in his room while they snuck out the back door through the kitchen to smoke a joint in the woods. Sometimes he wondered if Enid was a bad influence on him, but the relief it gave his ptsd said something entirely different.  
  
He watched her light it and hand it over to him, sitting on a fallen log watching squirrels playing up in a tree. “So are you going to college this fall or what?” Carl sighed. College was kind of a sore spot for him. He’d barely made it through graduation after all of the fucked up shit with the car crash the year before. But he’d done it. Now he didn’t know if he could even focus on college classes. Wasn’t it supposed to be way harder than high school?

“I…dunno. I thought about it but I don’t think so. Maybe I’ll take some online classes or something.” He shrugged his shoulders. He hadn’t even given his career track a thought. He took another hit before Enid bumped him with her elbow. She hated when he babysat the joint.  
  
She nodded as she took a hit then exhaled through her nose. “Maybe you should take a semester off. See how the whole thing with Negan plays out,” she teased, and Carl rolled his eye.

He wasn’t even sure if it was going to play out as anything. Maybe he’d only given him his number to be polite. Maybe he hadn’t even given him the correct number. He kicked a fly off of his shoe and looked up. His eye still fucked up his depth perception but it was getting much better these days. Regardless he could still see the stream of sunlight as it passed down through the walnut trees.  
  
Then twigs were snapping and his head was jerking around to see where the sound had come from. Wait were they sitting toward the house or away from it? Was someone behind them? He turned around and sure enough there was Shane, his dad’s best friend, and Enid was in the middle of handing over the joint when she froze.

Shane stared down at them hard for a moment, then he sighed and sat down beside of Carl, taking the joint from Enid. “What is this?” He took a hit and screwed up his face before blowing it back out, coughing. “That is the stalest, most disgusting weed I’ve ever smoked.” He shook his head sadly and reached it over to Carl, who was almost too speechless to do anything.  
  
Shane grinned over at him and he reached around him, giving him a side hug and rubbing his shoulder. “I was a kid once too.” He stood, pulling back on his ‘police’ cap and crossing his arms over his chest. “Your dad asked me to come over and check on you, he’s working a late shift at the station and I went on lunch. There’s Krystals at the house,” he promised, before messing up Carl’s hair and turning to walk back into the yard.

 

“That-.”  
  
“That happened,” Enid mused, nodding and taking the joint back from Carl and hitting it again. Maybe she needed to rethink her dealer.

 

 

Carl turned off the light in Judith’s room and shut the door behind him. She was finally asleep. Ms Peletier had dropped her off after Enid had gone home. They’d demolished a good portion of the burgers but he saved a few for Judith, who gobbled them up pretty much soaked in ketchup. Kids were weird.

 

He flopped down on his bed, rubbing his eye with the heel of his palm and grabbing his controller before he noticed the green light flashing on his phone, no longer laying forgotten on the side of the bed. He glanced at it then back to the tv, then back again. Enid had been the one to instigate this, should he just ride it out? Negan seemed like a cool guy, after all.

Soon he was reaching over and picking it up, his phone screen lighting up to reveal of course, a reply from ‘Negan ; )’. Carl laughed and opened it up.

_Negan ; )_

**Well hey. It’s going good. How about yourself sweetheart?**

Carl bit his lip but typed back quickly. When he didn’t feel so anxious he was more articulate. Probably a lot more than the last time they’d spoke.

_(Me) Carl Grimes_

**A lot better than the last time we talked. : )**

Instead of playing his new game that night he switched to netflix and continued to text the older man until about 1 am when he fell asleep on him.


	3. Home (Negan Chapter)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Negan-centric chapter. Um. I was only gonna update biweekly but I've written 5 chapters in 18 hours so here we are I guess.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> http://flowercrownspock.tumblr.com/tagged/behind-these-scars-verse  
> tumblr link for edits. nsfw.

Negan

 

He walked out the front doors, whatever he’d come for he’d forgotten. Carl had distracted him a little too much. He sighed as he slammed the black truck door and started it up, pulling away from the parking lot and heading home.

 

No matter how he tried to peel the thought of Carl out of his head it wouldn’t go, so he embraced it instead, finding comfort in the fact that he’d gotten his number and the teen had his. Maybe they would talk again soon. He hoped so.

He slipped out of his truck and into his house, locking the door behind him as he kicked his shoes off and hung his keys up on the hook. He turned the lights on, the dogs barking and running to greet him happily. Bisou jumped up and playfully bit at him and he laughed, kneeling down to the dogs height so they could both lick his face. He grinned, taking his glasses off with one hand and trying to shield his face with his other. “Okay kids,” he drawled, standing up and wiping his face off. He placed his now streaked glasses down on the table and walked through the house, the Bisou and Bandit at his heels.

After filling their water bowls and giving them wet food he went to his liquor cabinet and took out the scotch. Not bothering with a glass – because lets be real, he lives alone – he carried the bottle into the living room and sat down on the couch to watch some horror movies.

 

 

The next thing he knew he was waking up to his phone buzzing and the dogs licking his face. After patting down his side and pulling the phone up to his face he realized it was his alarm to wake up. Shit, had he really drank all that scotch? Apparently so, because he was now in his bed, surrounded in blankets and pillows, with two eager dogs barking good morning at him.

 

Well alright.

 

He sat up and ran a hand through his hair. He needed a shower. He pushed himself out of the bed with his arms, boxers slung low on his hips as he walked. After leaning against the wall to assist his morning piss he stripped the boxers away and stepped into the shower. The water was near scalding but that’s what he liked. He wasn’t exactly young anymore, hot water felt good on his muscles. Not to mention he had a hint of a hangover.

The dogs were waiting on him in the kitchen when he got dressed and he fed them once more, making himself a cup of coffee before he grabbed yesterday’s paper off the table. He sat in his arm chair and looked through it silently. It was mornings like this that he missed Lucille. He’d lost her to cancer a while ago, but damn did he still love her. She was the best thing to ever happen to him, he was just too stupid to realize it at the time.  


A few hours passed of him idly watching tv and thinking when he decided to get up. He stretched and walked through his home, picking up laundry and tossing it into the basket at the end of the hallway in front of his utility closet. He was a single man again, and he had to clean up after himself and his two fur children. It wasn’t a problem though. When he didn’t work at the college he stayed home and did chainsaw art. Yeah, it was hell on the ears and he’d learned quickly to wear hearing protection, but some of the shit he made was gorgeous.

 

As the dogs sprinted through the house barking after each other he walked out the back door, sliding on his gloves and goggles, then the giant earmuffs before he started up the chainsaw and went to work.  
  
It was sundown by the time he went inside. He’d almost completed a bear sculpture, and it had only taken all day. He wiped the sweat from his forehead with his shoulder as he walked toward the bathroom. Of course, not before the flashing notification light on his phone caught his attention. He swiped it off the counter and opened it to see a message from Carl Grimes.

So he was going to hear from him again. He raised his eyebrows and opened it, smiling at the simple message. He typed his reply then sat it down again, going to hop into the shower to clean the sweat and saw dust away.  


He wondered what Carl did during the day, and what he was doing right at that moment. He seemed like a nice enough guy, so what if he was young. It wasn’t creepy to want to be friends with him, he was 18. Negan knew a lot of young people, he worked at a college for god’s sake. He took a deep breath and ran a hand through his clean hair one last time before he shut off the water and stepped out to towel off.

As he passed into the kitchen to cook himself some dinner he picked up his phone again and smiled. Carl had texted him back again.

_(me) Negan_

**I’m glad to hear that. : ) What are you doing tonight?**  
  
They kept talking, he found himself in bed flanked by either dog, rolled onto his side texting Carl til early hours, until the boy had presumably fallen asleep. He was still young he guessed. Probably did a lot during the day.  
  
_(me) Negan_

**Sweet dreams Carl. X**


	4. First Date

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Carl thinks Negan's truck is obnoxious.

Four days later Carl got another Negan text.

_Negan ; )_

**Hey sweetheart. Want to get lunch with me?**

Carl almost threw up out of nerves. Negan wanted to have lunch with him? Well, he had asked him if he wanted to get coffee sometime. He bit his lip and typed quickly, trying to think of what Enid would tell him.

_(me) Carl Grimes_

**I’d love that. I like pizza? :P**

That was him attempting to flirt. He sighed and put his hand on his forehead. He was horrible at this. Judith came wondering into the room asking for a snack and he deftly got her some goldfish and grape juice and sat down with her at the dining room table, his phone buzzing with a notification seconds later. He smiled at it as he opened it and Judith giggled over at him. “Carl has a boyfrienddddddd!”

“Shhh Judy,” he snorted, glancing over at her and reaching into the wooden bowl in the middle of the table to grab a candy bar. He slid it across the table at her and smirked. “Go nuts, don’t tell dad. Brush your teeth after.”   
  
She stared at him and smiled, getting up and running around the table to press a sticky grape juice kiss to his scarred cheek. He scrunched his nose and kissed the top of her head then ruffled her hair before she ran back around the table and began to play with the goldfish crackers.

_Negan ; )_

**Sounds good to me. How’s tomorrow sound? I can pick you up if that’s a problem.**

Carl was almost too eager to give his address to an older man he didn’t really know, but he did anyway. He sighed as he closed out the text. What did he wear? They were probably going to like, what, a diner or something?

 

That night he tossed and turned awkwardly. He was kind of nervous, kind of excited to see Negan again. He sighed, sitting up and rummaging in his bedside drawer for a half smoked joint. He grabbed it and a lighter then opened the window, climbing out onto the porch roof, and settling down to smoke. His dad was working late, as usual. He could smoke himself to sleep.

He thought back to the last date he’d gone on. Beth Greene, before she had started working at the diner in town. That’s where they’d eaten dinner and shared a milkshake, but Carl was younger then. Less fucked up than now. He wasn’t going to lie to himself, of course he was damaged now. Losing your eye and your mom in a crash did that to a person apparently.

As he slipped back into his window he put the roach out on his tongue and hid it back in the bottom of his drawer with his lighter. He was tired now, and as he wrapped the blankets up around himself he noticed his phone was flashing a green light again.

He raised his eyebrows, grabbing at it and turning on the screen. A smile spread across his face as he opened up his text from Negan.

_Negan ; )_

**See you soon kid. Good night. X**

_(me) Carl Grimes_

**Good night babe.**

He pressed send before he could talk himself out of it and he briefly remembered Bob’s Burgers. ‘Too spicy! Too spicy!’ He snorted and rolled over facing his wall, falling asleep near instantly.

 

 

The next morning he was fumbling with everything. He dropped his toothbrush like five fucking times, and he couldn’t get his hair to do anything except…flop. He sighed, running a hand through it before he decided to throw on a hat. The knit hid the flat part on top, plus helped his hair cover his bad eye. He sighed. That was a lot better.

Rick was making pancakes when he got downstairs. He smiled and patted him on the shoulder. “Morning dad.” Rick glanced over at him and smiled as he flipped a pancake. Chocolate chip, it seemed. Carl’s favorite. What a time for him to have just brushed his teeth. He chuckled to himself as he fiddled with his phone. Typical.

Judith was already eating some and watching little einsteins on her ipad, legs kicking, chocolate smeared all over her face. Suddenly Carl remembered being her age, sitting at the table in their old house with his mom sitting across from him while his dad cooked them pancakes. Blueberry, Lori’s favorite. Dad always made the best pancakes…

He ducked his head and immersed himself in the world of twitter, scrolling through the tweets as his dad brought the finished plate of pancakes over. “How’d you sleep son?”

Carl thought back to the night before and smirked to himself. “Finally fell asleep around 2 or so.” He picked a few pancakes up and sat them on his plate, cutting them with his fork and drowning them in syrup. “I uh…I have a date today, I think.” He swallowed dryly. It was like he suddenly had cotton mouth, but he looked up and stared his dad in the eye.

Rick raised his brows and smiled, gently punching his upper arm. “Well I’m proud of you son! Who’s the lucky – uh, person?”

He stabbed a stack of pancakes and stuck them into his mouth, chewing to bide his time carefully. He should just be honest. He swallowed and wiped his mouth with his hand. “I had a panic attack in walmart a few days ago-.” Immediately Rick looked concerned but he continued to listen. “This guy saw me, came over and sat down to talk to me. His name’s Negan. He’s um…older. But he’s really nice and handsome.”

For a long time his dad was quiet but finally he spoke up. “As long as he’s a good guy. I guess this would be a good time to tell you I’ve been seeing someone, too.” He took a drink of coffee and swallowed, then sat for a second before he spoke again. “Her name’s Michonne. She’s the Sherriff of Woodbury a couple of towns over.”

A smile spread across Carl’s face and he nodded. “Cool, she should come over some time.” Across from them Judith was singing the Little Einsteins theme song, now, and they both laughed as Rick sang with her.

 

He fumbled with the zipper on his shirt a few times, trying to keep his eye focused on his phone instead of looking around for Negan to show up. He didn’t wanna seem desperate. But where was he? Which direction would he come from? Did he already live close to Carl?

Looking down paid off because two minutes later he got a text from the man he was waiting on.

_Negan ; )_

**Be there in 5.**

Carl sighed in relief. The anxiety was stirring in his stomach but he was swallowing it back. He flopped back on the porch in time to look up at the glass door and see Judith pressed up against it, breathing heavily on the glass. He snorted and sat up, turning toward her and watching her press her nose against the glass and snort like a pig before Rick came along to scoop her up. “I just windexed that Judy,” he sighed, glancing out the door and smiling at his son as a huge black truck slowed to a stop in front of their gate.

Rick made himself walk away before he became too nosy, and Carl turned around to make a confused expression. Oh god, Negan was one of those assholes with an enormous truck. He smirked. Of course he was.

He was closing the gate when he felt the warmth of someone standing behind him. Blue eyes raised to meet green ones and Negan was the first one to crack a smile. “Hey kid,” he greeted, reaching up to open the door to his truck. Honestly, Carl would have to jump up to the height of his own chest to get in, but he managed to pull himself up using the door and with a little help from Negan. He was almost positive he was going to die when he felt the man’s hand press against his ass as his foot slipped, and lift him up to the seat.

When Negan sat beside him he took the time to rake his eye over him casually. He was in dark jeans and a white shirt, glasses on his face again. Could you have a clothing item kink? Because all of those things were just… _yes_. The older man glanced over at him as he pulled away from the curb and he smiled. Carl smiled back, small but there. Don’t act too eager, he told himself. Eight months ago him getting in a car with someone would have wrecked him, made his skin too clammy and his chest painfully tight. Sure that getting into a car meant imminent death. But here he was. Except…usually he had that twisting anxiety rising up the trunk of his spine. That was gone and he wondered if there was something so distracting about Negan that it made him numb to those feelings.

Glancing into the rear view mirror he saw a bat mounted on the back window. He raised his eyebrow and looked over at the man. “What’s with the bat?”

Negan laughed and looked in the rear view at the bat fondly. “Ahhh, I used to play baseball. I was a coach for a while too but not anymore. I named that bat after my wife Lucille when she was still alive.”  Oh yeah, Carl suddenly remembered Negan mentioning his wife had cancer. He bit his lip and glanced out the window.

“Sorry,” he whispered, avoiding the man’s gaze.

He was met with a smile and a laugh. “Shit kid it’s okay. Just life.”

A warm hand made its way to Carl’s shoulder and it lit a fire in his belly that released butterflies in the form of sparks. Jesus. Who the hell was this guy? The devil? He glanced over at him with a smile and caught the wrinkles in the corners of his eyes, the salt and pepper stubble. Nah, definitely not the devil, right? Okay maybe definitely.

After a minute carl decided the silence was too awkward. “So where are we going?” He didn’t take his eye off Negan.

“The pizza place on main street-“

“Rhee’s?”

“Yeah. That’s the one.”

Carl felt his mouth go dry. Glenn and Maggie Rhee were Enid’s parents. He felt his fingers begin to go numb but he shrugged it off. “I love pizza.”


	5. Is It Cool If I Hold Your Hand?

His eye was scanning the place critically from the time they sat down, and Negan noticed. He frowned slightly and leaned in, reaching across the table and placing a gentle hand on Carl’s arm. He gave the other man his full attention then, staring him down with an icy baby blue. Negan smiled. “You’re good. If not, we can get out of here.”

 

Carl let out a slow breath and cleared his throat. “It’s not that I’m…it’s just, my best friend’s p-.”

“Carl Grimes!” Maggie was standing beside their table eyeing the man across from him and carl had gone completely red. She raised her eyebrows at him but stayed quiet.

“H-hey Maggie. This is –.”

 

Negan straightened up and offered her his hand. “Negan. Nice to meet you Maggie.” And holy shit Carl was pretty sure he could charm anyone because Maggie’s expression softened.

 

“Good to meet you Negan. What can I get yall?” She stepped back and looked between them, then Negan spoke up once more.

 

“Large cheese. Whatever he wants-.” He nodded toward Carl and the boy flushed even deeper if possible. He hesitated then looked up at her.

 

“Chocolate malt?” Maggie nodded and ruffled his hair.

 

“Sure thing sweetie. Be right back with your cheese sticks.”

 

“I’m assuming that’s what you were trying to tell me.” Negan chuckled and looked across at the teen, who was lightening in color considerably. “She know you?”

 

“She’s my best friend’s  _mom_.” He bit his lip.  
  


“Oh shit,” he laughed, leaning on his hand, elbow on the table while Carl continued to babble on. Seriously, he was cute when he was nervous, but Negan didn’t want to seem predatory so he just nodded and listened.

 

Maggie made her way to their table again with Carl’s malt and the tray of free cheese sticks. “Anything else I can get you guys?”

 

Negan asked her for an iced tea and she left again, leaving Carl to demolish his malt. The older man watched him while he idly ate cheese bread, admiring the teen’s mouth. He was cute, that was for sure. Anyone with eyes could see that. He snorted out loud at his joke and Carl stopped drinking, pulling away and looking up at him. There was chocolate dripping down the side of his mouth and Negan leaned forward, wiping it off with his thumb and licking it away. “Are you going to vomit?”

 

Carl snorted and rolled his eye. “You wish.” He reached across the table and grabbed some cheese bread, shoving it into his mouth. What? He was a teenage boy. He could put away food. As Negan watched he caught himself staring at Carl’s eye again underneath his hair. He knew it was probably rude so he tried to look away, but it was bad ass.

 

Twenty minutes later Maggie came back with the pizza and refills for their drinks, and Negan insisted he pay for it all. Carl bit his lip. He had money in his pocket for this very reason, but he didn’t want to offend the guy. When she left he smiled across at the man. “Thank you.”

 

“Come on, it would be rude for me to ask you out and not pay.” He smiled across the table and Carl flushed.

 

“Then I’ve got it next time,” he pushed, and the look on Negan’s face was worth the slight embarrassment.

 

He sighed and slid down in his seat, picking up his slice of pizza. “That sounds damn good to me Carl.”

 

After stuffing the rest of the pizza into a box and paying Negan offered to hang out longer with Carl. Actually, he invited him to come over to his house. Carl was apprehensive at first, but gave in because who wouldn’t?

 

 

Carl was stiff on his couch even when the man handed him a drink. Bisou sat at Carl’s feet gazing up at him with deep brown eyes as he took a drink. He kept petting her and asking her who was a good girl, but she just cocked her head to the side. Negan snorted as glanced over to Carl. “Of course she knows whos a good girl. She’s fucking with ya.”   
  
As if she knew he was talking about her Bisou barked and sat up, putting her front paws in Carl’s lap. He jumped a little then laughed when he saw that she was just a sweet dog. He scratched at her ears and looked up to see Negan staring at the two of them. “I think she likes you. She doesn’t do that to just anyone.” As if it pained him to say it Negan took another long drink out of his glass and turned on the TV.

 

Soon they were absorbed into a horror movie. Um…well, kind of at least. It was The Evil Dead: Army Of Darkness. It wasn’t that scary now, but Carl was silent as he watched, Negan on the couch beside him now so he could watch as well. What he didn’t notice was the two dogs climbing up on the sides and forcing the two of them to sit in the middle near on top of each other. That was Carl’s bad side, he couldn’t exactly see what Negan was doing now. He was too close.   
  


Carl gasped at a jump scare and Negan sighed, smirking down at him. Carl turned to him and rolled his eye. “They’re cheap. That’s the only scary thing about the movie.” Bandit suddenly stood and shook, and the noise and movement made Carl jump again, grabbing onto Negan’s arm for dear life and breathing heavy.   
  


Green eyes swept over him carefully, watching the grey hat slip down from the back of his head and exposing his eye. Once he was breathing normally again Negan looked away, allowing the boy to continue to clutch his arm. His eye stayed on the TV, and eventually Carl uncurled his fingers from the older man’s skin with a flush and a whispered apology.   
  


Negan didn’t mind the contact. In fact he slipped a hand onto Carl’s thigh, and the other man found himself leaning into the couch, looking up at Negan with his good eye. There was a small smile tugging at his lips. He slid down a pale hand, long fingers stroking over the back of Negan’s tanned skin, pads of his fingers pressing along his knuckles until he finally laid it down, palm touching the back of the other man’s hand.

 

Hours passed as they finished the movie and started another, and it was late now. 9:45 pm, to be exact. When Negan turned off the TV Carl shifted to look at him with his eye. “Think I better get you home,” he murmured, standing and waking both Bisou and Bandit. They both took one look at Carl and began to lick at him, Bisou pawing to get him to let her lay across his lap. “Sorry girl, I gotta go.” Carl smiled down and scratched the top of the dog’s head then pulled on his shoes before he followed Negan out the front door.   
  


Negan hoisted Carl up into his truck this time, his hand curled around his hip and the other under one knee to help him get a foot on the floor board. The teen’s face had turned red but it was dark, and neither could really see that well. Just facial features in a dim blue color. Blues and greys. The obnoxious truck roared to life and Carl pulled his hat over his ears. Jesus. Why?  
  


The older man kept a hand on Carl’s knee the entire drive and Carl let it linger there for a while before he decided to sit closer to him. As he moved toward the middle of the truck seat Negan glanced over and moved his hand, instead letting his knee fall over to touch the other man’s. Their conversation was pretty empty, mostly because Carl was too afraid to say anything and ruin what he’d managed to build so far.   
  


The truck stopped in front of his home and Carl took a deep breath, scooting away and opening the door to slide out. His house was dimly lit, but the living room light was on, and so was the porch light. He sighed, not noticing Negan until he was shutting the door behind him.   
  


He turned toward him and the older man stepped forward, putting a warm hand underneath Carl’s chin to tilt it up. He was met with a wide blue eye, so he turned his attention to Carl’s cheek instead. The scarred one, in fact, and that made Carl’s heart skip a beat. “Good night doll face,” he purred at him, then he was on the other side of the truck, and Carl was walking away, unlocking the front door and slipping inside.


End file.
